It's gonna be a tough week

This last week I had to get used to being back at college on a Wednesday night, which meant one late night threw off my sleep patterns and exercise plan slightly. This is what I ended up doing:

Mon: 30mins interval training on treadmill + weights + abs
Tue: 45 body pump class
Wed: 5k run + weights + abs
Thu: rest
Fri: rest
Sat: salsa class
Sun: 60mins brisk walk

I need to up my game slightly this week, with more cardio and definitely more conditioning, so this is the plan:

Mon: 20mins weights + abs + 45mins spin
Tue: 20mins interval training on treadmill + 45mins body pump
Wed: 5k run + weights + abs
Thu: 60mins dance aerobics
Fri: 20mins interval training on treadmill + 45mins body pump
Sat: 45mins Pilates + 45mins Salsa class
Sun: rest

Someone at work asked to feel my bicep the other day and I had to laugh at their reaction, there is definitely some hardcore muscle in there[which I love], just need to work on burning off the surrounding fat!

I want it yesterday already!

The phrase in the post title should give you a hint at my incredibly impatient nature and occasional tendency to mimic the vernacular of a Jewish New Yorker.

I have, in the past, been tempted at full, blown toddleresque tantrums if I thought it would speed things up. So yes, call me impatient and not virtuous at all. This is especially true of my numerous attempts at weight loss and so, it is no small wonder that I too, have fallen prey to the quick-fix charlatans of the diet and weight loss industry. These charlatans exist in their thousands and as Ross, over on the Science of Sport pointed out[read his series on weight loss, it’s great], if you search for ‘weight loss’ on Amazon it will yield results for 83,798 books!!!! Now that is a LOT of reading on the subject and I can pretty much guarantee that a hefty percentage, are all about the quick fix. I’m sure titles such as ‘Eat nothing but the rind of a guatamalan tangerine for 10 days and lose 30lbs’ or ‘Cleanse your colon with coffee laced berry shakes and lose 50lbs in 2 weeks!’*** are the kinds of promises you might find amongst those 80 odd thousand titles.

I know the quick fix well, in some instances, it does as it says on the tin and gives you the rapid weight loss you desire. You feel all smug, basking in the compliments of friends and family, when on attempting to go back to some semblance of a normal diet, put it all back on again [and usually put on more]. It is a supremely bang-head-on-desk-repeatedly kind of scenario, for which I may well have incurred some permanent brain damage, for the amount of times I have failed to learn from this obvious mistake. However, I am pleased to report that I am no longer lured by the promises of the quick fix because I have known and continue to use a marvelous magic formula that has worked for centuries and will continue to work for all eternity.

It is quite simple and it is, wait for it, drum roll please….

EAT LESS and MOVE MORE

Blindingly obvious but that formula, although guaranteed to work, does not in ANY way satisfy the need for things to happen in a speedy fashion. Frustrating as all hell I know but if you can concede that putting on weight usually happens over a sustained period of time, then so too will the effort to get it off again. Patience grasshopper.

So peeps, if you make a commitment to shifting the unwanted and unhealthy extra pounds[as I have], you gotta be in it for the long haul. This means a change in attitude to your lifestyle and eating habits for life because as the saying goes ‘If you do what you always did, then you’ll get what you always got’.

***[these are merely attempts at humour and not real titles of course]

The big 'O'

So I have a confession. A tough, embarrassing confession but here it is…I’m ‘clinically obese’. This may not be a surprise to some of you but hey, there it is in glorious black text.

I remember the first time someone revealed this cold, hard fact to me. It was 6-7yrs ago now, with my less than sympathetic Glaswegian doctor, when told that I wasn’t really feeling great, decided that a no nonsense ‘it is because you are overweight, in fact you’re clinically obese’ kind of answer, was just the tonic I needed. WhythankyouverymuchNOT, my evil, medically trained nemesis. I went into an immediate depression, outright denial and hand-permanently-stuck-in-a-bag-of-chips syndrome that pretty much remained for several years.

Obesity is all over the TV news, in newspapers, on the internet, with everyone weighing in [ahem] on the debate. The daily fail, just one of the many harbingers or doom, like to blame us for crippling the NHS, inviting in more damn immigrants and bringing down the Labour government [I jest about the last two]. For me ‘Obese’ has always made me think of those poor sods who have to suffer the humiliation of being removed from their beds by crane and although I knew I was overweight, I was certain I was far from having to get in touch with my local JCB hire company. So, last year, I finally came clean, admitted I was in denial and made a choice to fight the war against my fat arse and hopefully win. So far I have lost approx 2 stone [the festive relaxation mode and subsequent weight gain explains the ‘approx’] and will need to lose another 1.5 stone [21 pounds] to be considered out of the ‘Obese’ and into the ‘Overweight’ category. This leaves a further 1.5 stone to get myself into the ‘normal weight’ category. So, a full 3 stone [42 pounds] to magically make vanish. Joy ☺

The deadline is my brother’s wedding [bridesmaid dress, ack!!!], which is 15 weeks away. This means an approx loss of 2.8lbs per week, which surprisingly, is totally doable and the recommended weekly weight loss by WW themselves. I suppose getting my jaw wired shut would be cheating ya?

So, who is with me?

Week One = Done!

So the ever dreaded first week of January is over and if I am honest, it was a tough one. I thought I had done quite well until about 3pm today when I just had to take my exhaustificated body for a nap! It is no wonder really as I managed all the workouts I had planned from Monday to Saturday and stuck to my WW points everyday, with a 2.5lbs weight loss at my weigh in today, result!!!

I wont lie, my body has ached most of the week, particularly after a tough body pump class on Tuesday [gotta love weighted squats] and getting up early on these cold and icy mornings has not been easy but it is done and I know that I am capable. These are the things that helped me this week:

• I planned every meal for the week on Sunday, bought all the ingredients necessary and made a big pot of veg soup to portion off and freeze. That meant I knew what I was eating each day and there was no temptation to snack on anything calorific.
• I packed my bag the night before with clothes for the next day and put out my gym clothes to get into as soon as I woke.
• I got up early each day and did my workout in the morning, getting it out of the way for the day. This really works for me but others may prefer an evening workout.
• I set out a good mix of cardio and weight/resistance training for the week, to keep it fresh

These are habits I hope to continue, with the hope that they will become automatic and help me on my path to becoming fitter and healthier.

How was your week?

Fitness Facts

Great article over on the New Scientist website, worth a read.

dance tastic

So instead of my run tomorrow, my Thursday morning workout is gonna be a dance/aerobic type workout, following the Tracy Anderson method, the workout I'll be doing [please ignore any references to Gwyneth Paltrow or Madonna] you can see here.

I'll just be repeating that routine for 45mins to an hour depending on how much energy I can muster and how long I can keep going. Have worked out my playlist for tomorrow and it is as follows:

Toxic - Britney Spears
Shot You Down - Audiobullys
Satisfaction/Party started - Benassi & Pink
Yeah Yeah - Bodyrockers
Dont Give Up - dance mix - Bryan Adams
I'm not alone - Calvin Harris
Better the Devil You know - Kylie
Get Together - Madonna
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
Poker Face - Lady Ga Ga
One Two Step - Ciara
Star Guitar - Chemical Brothers
Superstylin - Groove Armada
Enjoy the Silence - remix - Depeche Mode

What would your dance playlist be?

an early morning conversation in my head

It went a little something like this:

Lazy: oh look, it's 5am, stay in bed, it's warm and cosy

McTofu: must get up and get to the gym

Lazy: the gym is evil, look how much it hurt you from your workout yesterday

McTofu: I am sore but another workout will help ease the pain and stop my muscles from seizing up

Lazy: BUT your gluteus maximus is non-cooperateous right now

McTofu: leave my butt outta this Lazy, I'm getting up and going to my spin class, so nyer!

I went to spin class, it was brutal but worth it.

Mctofu - 1 Lazy - 0