The phrase in the post title should give you a hint at my incredibly impatient nature and occasional tendency to mimic the vernacular of a Jewish New Yorker.
I have, in the past, been tempted at full, blown toddleresque tantrums if I thought it would speed things up. So yes, call me impatient and not virtuous at all. This is especially true of my numerous attempts at weight loss and so, it is no small wonder that I too, have fallen prey to the quick-fix charlatans of the diet and weight loss industry. These charlatans exist in their thousands and as Ross, over on the Science of Sport pointed out[read his series on weight loss, it’s great], if you search for ‘weight loss’ on Amazon it will yield results for 83,798 books!!!! Now that is a LOT of reading on the subject and I can pretty much guarantee that a hefty percentage, are all about the quick fix. I’m sure titles such as ‘Eat nothing but the rind of a guatamalan tangerine for 10 days and lose 30lbs’ or ‘Cleanse your colon with coffee laced berry shakes and lose 50lbs in 2 weeks!’*** are the kinds of promises you might find amongst those 80 odd thousand titles.
I know the quick fix well, in some instances, it does as it says on the tin and gives you the rapid weight loss you desire. You feel all smug, basking in the compliments of friends and family, when on attempting to go back to some semblance of a normal diet, put it all back on again [and usually put on more]. It is a supremely bang-head-on-desk-repeatedly kind of scenario, for which I may well have incurred some permanent brain damage, for the amount of times I have failed to learn from this obvious mistake. However, I am pleased to report that I am no longer lured by the promises of the quick fix because I have known and continue to use a marvelous magic formula that has worked for centuries and will continue to work for all eternity.
It is quite simple and it is, wait for it, drum roll please….
EAT LESS and MOVE MORE
Blindingly obvious but that formula, although guaranteed to work, does not in ANY way satisfy the need for things to happen in a speedy fashion. Frustrating as all hell I know but if you can concede that putting on weight usually happens over a sustained period of time, then so too will the effort to get it off again. Patience grasshopper.
So peeps, if you make a commitment to shifting the unwanted and unhealthy extra pounds[as I have], you gotta be in it for the long haul. This means a change in attitude to your lifestyle and eating habits for life because as the saying goes ‘If you do what you always did, then you’ll get what you always got’.
***[these are merely attempts at humour and not real titles of course]
Mon: 10min uphill walk on treadmill + 10mins kettlebell + 4 x plank Tue: 10min uphill walk on treadmill + 30mins kettlebell + 4 x plank Wed: rest Thu: rest [pulled back muscles during kettlebell workout!!] Fri: rest [pulled back muscles during kettlebell workout!!] Sat: 45mins Pilates + 45mins Salsa class Sun: 1hr Yoga
Fitness stats so far
Kilometers run so far: 25k Weighted squats: 100 Clean and Press lifts: 32 Bicep curls: 80 Tricep curls: 60 Press ups: 40 Ab crunches: 220 Plank: 18 Time spent 'spinning': 135mins Time spent in dance class: 225
Runs I've done
10k Cancer Research run, Hampton Ct Palace, Oct 09